A preacher named Bowen at a Kansas City Unity Church came up with this idea. Don't complain for 21 days. Why? Well, my life should get better if I don't complain. I will reframe the way I think and then be a happier person. And 21 days is the magic number as it has been shown to some psychologist (name not remembered) that it takes 21 days to develop a new habit.
If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't Complain. -Maya Angelou
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't Complain. -Maya Angelou
I love quotes and this one from Maya Angelou is great.
Here's the website:
http://ccunitykc.org/
So, why don't I try this?
I have actually been quite a critical person in my life. I was denied a raise a number of years ago because of my verbal complaints. My supervisor felt that my attitude affected the attitude of others around me and that if I stopped it, others would follow suit. I reallly don't know if it worked at that place. But I do have experience with cutting down my complaining.
I became much more selective about my complaining.
I didn't change the workplace environment, but I really tried. I tried making positive comments to people every day. Now several years after choosing to quit (perhaps taking May's advice-changing it) I am certain I am a happier person. I feel like I was scapegoated in that situation. I am still sad about what went on at that work place though. I felt we all had the best interests of our patients in mind but were not able to care for them to the best of our ability related to the environment created by management. So, my thoughts in this regard were not appreciated and I moved on. I left some hard working sincere friends and co workers. Most have also moved on as well though. Most of the patients who I really cared about were understanding, too. Retention was not high at that place.
I just re read the above paragraph and don't find any complaints. I was just explaining. If you disagree, please tell me.
I am trying this thing. I have a blue wrist band that says 'peace'. I've already moved it from one side to the other a few times. I will keep it up, though. I will try and see how long it takes.
This is one concern that I haven't seen raised in the things I have read:
What would Gandhi do? I mean if he hadn't asked the Bristish to go back home, where would the peaceful revolution that got India it's independance be? Was he complaining?
What I mean is: Can problems be righted without complaining?
If they can; I'm all for it.
Maybe I'm approaching this from a 'let's think this through' attitude and I need a 'let's do it.'
I'm a little skeptical about that number 21, too. How was that figured out? Who did the study that proved this? Did this researcher use good methods? Really, any number would be OK, but is this reason more valid that saying that the number 21 is mystical?
I think about the first time I took statistics (a few decades ago) and learned that one needed 32 subjects or items to study. Being in nursing, I would need to interview 32 people or have 32 pieces of data from people. Someone else could have data from 32 bugs or from 32 trees or 32 cars depending on their area of interest. Anyway, when I took statistics for graduate school 10 years ago; the magic number 32 (or was it 31, it could have been 31) had disappeared. One of the advances in statistics was that you could make statistics with any number of subjects. So that changed. How long before '21 days to develop a new habit' changes?
I gave up sucking my thumb when I was 11 years old in one week. That would be a different blog, though.
I just re read the whole thing. I don't see any complaints. If you see one, let me know, then move your wristband to the other wrist.
More soon on how this is going.
